To Wear High Heels Again

So this is how it feels...

2009-07-03T09:24:00.000-07:00

Well on Father's Day I decided to quit smoking. I had been very successful until Saturday June 27 th night. I was fine until I went ahead and ordered a third drink...then I smoked, eight cigarette's! Which is incredibly ridiculous of me! I haven't smoked since that evening and I want it to remain that way. I didn't realize how easy it would be not to smoke all week long but how difficult it would be on the weekends around others that I've smoked and hung with would be!

Wish me better will power then I had last weekend!

TGIF...

2009-05-29T09:58:00.000-07:00

Well it's Friday and I really don't have any "true plans"! I love not being pulled in a million directions, especially after a long week at work. It's nice to be able to sway through the night.

Ponder this...

~*~How old will you be in heaven when you die so that I know what you I'm looking for when I die and get there?~*~

...and go read 'My Sister's Keeper'

Curves

2009-05-28T06:14:00.000-07:00

I feel energized! I went back to Curves and did my thirty minute workout~I feel fantastic! It really was like riding a bicycle, it all came back to me right away!

My one month personal goal is to lose 10 lbs.~~~I'll definitely let you know by June 28th, even more would be even better!

I've got softball this evening...Go Steamers! Hopefully it won't rain! I'm ready to get my swing on!

~~getting ready to check off another New Year's Goal!

It's that time again...

2009-05-26T10:04:00.000-07:00

Well it's time for me to evaluate my goals and how I'm trying to accomplish them...

2009-03-26T10:11:00.000-07:00

Even Mother Nature knows when you're running outta steam; She gives you a dark, rainy, and cold day. All so you can rush home for some grilled cheese, tomato soup, board game, and snuggling up to a good book under your favorite blankie.

2009-03-09T08:26:00.000-07:00

So March definitely came in like a lion...

a. Snow!!!
b. Girls had lots of basketball tournaments/games(Season is officially over---they completely rocked it!)
c. My job received official word that we have been placed under a federal restriction(Wow, the economy is a mess!)
d. My little brother left on Saturday to go to IRAQ(Please super pray for him!)

All of this in a matter of 8 days...Come on April Showers and May flowers!

2009 is gonna be just FINE!

2009-01-02T14:44:00.000-08:00

I have my 12 goals of 2009 and I'm prepared for it to be the best year yet! Every year is an opportunity to be better then the last and I'm ready! As I accomplish I'll let you know and show my progress this year...

tick tock....

2008-12-22T09:39:00.000-08:00

Well time is speeding by and I have so much to do! Christmas is the most amazing holiday...especially seeing the girls faces filled with magic!

finish shopping
make more cookies
wrap presents
grocery shopping
doctor's appointment(fingers crossed)
work
cook

...and then clean it all up...and breath!

p.s. has anyone else noticed that the prices for children's items get more and more expensive even though the items keep getting smaller and smaller?

so let it be...

2008-11-28T13:56:00.000-08:00

Her soul was emerging and her strength astonishing even without much time passing by. I watched every move that she made with such calculation and method. The world stood still as she accomplished each task with such profission, all awhile I wondered why she didn't cry. Sure she cried over the little things that showed that a heart did in fact beat within her chest, Kleenex commercials and Extreme Home Make-Over shows. But I watched the doctor tell her that it could be something, a real something and nothing this time flowed from her deep blue eyes. The eyes were still beautiful but somehow the path and road they had traveled made seeing the spark harder, especially for those trying to look into them. Each chance for someone to look deep into them received a quick glance and she was onto the next task at hand, except when she would let me look into them.

I know that it's our time together and nothing is ever spoken louder then a whisper. "Breath" she says. Her eyes soften as they did when she was younger. I get to see the once carefree soul that wanted life to be the flowers she would draw at the top of her pages and the words to all the Counting Crows songs she would sing as if the lyrics belonged to her and the melody carried her steps. Her forehead unwrinkled as she forgets that life has responsibilities for her and a smile emerges more vibrant then when she was ever a child, peace covers her. Pure contentedness covers her until there is a knock at the door.

In an instance the heart tightens, the smile is replaced with wrinkles, and her eyes darken. She picks up her mascara and highlights the scared eyes, quickly and methodically. With a twist of the top, she turns the doorknob and I hear her say with a whisper "Here we go, breath."

?!?!

2008-11-26T13:32:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time there was a girl that was bored out of her mind, and that girl is me! So my work decided today that any form of email other then the work email would now be blocked. Here's the deal...YES I'M ECSTATIC THAT I HAVE A JOB, but...

-Advertise!
-Allow us to be fully staffed so that I can go out and "drum" up business!
-Offer products to younger customers...not just the "mature"!
-Compete against other businesses like our own!
-ECT.!

I'm perfectly happy working hard, I'm perfectly happy with rising to the occasion, and I'm perfectly happy with exceeding my own expectations!

I'm not happy with feeling as if I'm a non-contributing member of society...so if you blockade me from performing can't I at least get my own personal email?!

Real quick...

2008-11-26T13:29:00.000-08:00

Does anyone know the winning lottery numbers for Friday?! I'm willing to...

a) Split the winnings

b) Share the winnings

c) Just about anything..hmmm

d) all of the above...Just let me know!

BTW...

2008-11-26T13:27:00.000-08:00

Yes I know that my Tennessee Titans are not "perfect". Ultimately though I didn't/don't care about a perfect season, what I truly care about is the ring at the end of the season...so...GO TITANS!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-26T13:15:00.000-08:00

So that time of year is once again upon us. I normally am extremely excited about Thanksgiving but this year is going to be a little bit difficult compared to years past. It sounds odd, even to me, but I'm sad at thirty years old about not spending time with my entire family. Although this year will be better then last, it's my year to have the girls for Thanksgiving. My parents divorced after 31 years of marriage, my one sister is in North Carolina with her family, my one brother is traveling with his girlfriend, my other sister is visiting her husbands family this year, my other sister is stuck at school because she has to work the next day(doesn't want to lose her job with the economy being the way it is), my other brother is in the army(Texas), and that leaves two siblings...tears. Turkey Day is still going to be wonderful, but I'm going to miss all the commotion that is my family!

But from me to all of you...Have a Healthy, Safe, Happy Thanksgiving!

MA

5-0 baby!

2008-10-06T13:25:00.000-07:00

* free tickets to football game in awesome seats,
*got to be on field before game and meet players,
*being 5-0 going into a bye week...

PERFECT!!!

lots of stuff going on...

2008-10-03T08:28:00.001-07:00

so much is going on on but..............Most important....I need tickets to this weekends football game!!! It's my two favorite teams! Tennessee has my heart but Ravens are knocking on the door. I really want to go so if anyone, anyone at all has tickets please let me know! Prefer cheap seat prices in high end neighborhood(what woman doesn't)! Soooooo.............email me at mamtomad@hotmail.com

Please and Thank you in advance!
MA

weekend ahead...

2008-09-26T13:18:00.000-07:00

Super glad that Friday is almost over! What a week...

can someone loosen the rope...

2008-09-24T06:18:00.000-07:00

A few months ago my boss asked me to help her work on a networking event that we are hosting this evening. Here's the short version, she had to have surgery and I got to plan the entire thing. So tonight I get to host my first major networking event and I'm very nervous. All the what ifs and things keep popping into my head...I know whatever will be will be, but I just need to remind myself to breathe. Oh well wish me luck!

it's amazing how much can happen in just a day...

2008-09-22T10:29:00.000-07:00

Question...Is it possible that a degree from school somehow entitles one to talk down to others?

Entitled, no. Commenly occurs, yes.

Quick story...Today I was having a brief discussion with a colleague at work about some recent events going on at my job. Amidst my talking, I was interrupted and informed that she understood because "I have a master's in...". the toned that was behind her voice was a bit rude and condescending. While biting my tongue I was thinking of at least half a dozen things, such as...really then why don't you do this, or that, and ect.

I think that education is extremely important. Higher education is wonderful for certain fields and for certain people. Do I think any less of someone with out a college degree, absolutely not. Education does not need to be in a classroom setting. Learning can and should occur everywhere. The school of "Hard Knocks" is still, in my opinion, the most important forms of education on can achieve.

At the end of the day though...I'd do without most of the professions with degrees as long as we can still have the trash man come and do his job.

Little girls are made of...

2008-09-20T06:59:00.000-07:00

SUGAR, SPICE, and EVERYTHING NICE...

Dear Mom,

I want to thank you for all the years of sleepovers that you allowed me to have. I also want to tell you that the cookie dough, brownies, candy, chips and dip, and pizza were always a hit! I now understand why you always put vegetables on the table...to still feel like you were being a good mother. I appreciate you looking like death the next morning being a short order cook for all the particular requests that one child may have, or all of them. Thank you for letting me ruin all your make-up, instead of the inexpensive kind you bought for the party. I'm so glad you loved New Kids on the Block as much as I now love the Jonas Brothers. Thank you for letting me play Extreme Truth or Dare, even if I looked silly doing the chicken dance outside at midnight in my pj's. Thank you for wiping all the tears for people who didn't think that they got a enough time playing guitar hero, I'm sorry I meant Super Mario Bros. Thank you for listening to us talk about cute boys, and clothes, and movies, and music...even though I'm sure it made you cringe. But most of all I'd like to thank you for letting me go through all those things so that I can look at my baby girls and appreciate everything that makes them up, including sugar, spice, and everything nice...Thank you.

Love your favorite oldest daughter,
MA

Stressing OUT....

2008-09-17T13:07:00.000-07:00

I'm going to be able to tell my grand kids about the great depression of 2008! I remember the stories MY grandfather told me and it didn't sound very good. I was trying to figure out how this whole thing happened and I've come to one conclusion...it wasn't Republicans or Democrats...it was one thing...GREED! Politician's, Mortgage brokers, banks, investment company's, realtor's, and consumers the whole lot of them. If you can't afford something, don't buy it. If you can't give someone a loan that they aren't qualified for, don't sign the papers. If the product is out of a persons range for purchase, show them what is in their range. Everyone should be upset with what is occurring...because you caused this...

Double-Digits

2008-09-10T09:40:00.000-07:00

Well it's quite official...my oldest isn't little any longer. I think sometimes she does things for me so I still feel like she is but when you don't even go to Toys R Us for presents...it's all over. She asked for an I-pod Nano...which she was listening to for the rest of the evening till sleep hit her.

...I wish I could freeze certain days...

Wow what a week...What it's not over?!

2008-09-04T11:39:00.000-07:00

This week every time I've thought I've had it difficult I've been given a sign that told me...

A.) Get over it.
B.) Rise to the Occasion.
C.) Work harder to change it.
D.) All of the above.

...So clearly I had to pick D.

Here's to realizing it could always be worse but you can always make it better...

Please let it be my numbers...

2008-08-29T13:56:00.000-07:00

4:57pm on Friday, only an hour and a few minutes left to go...I hate Fridays at the bank. I'm tired and in need of a little relaxation. It's not going to happen but it sure would be nice.

---Once upon a time there was a woman filled with worry. Worried that time was moving so fast and that she wouldn't be able to accomplish everything she wanted. Worried that she wasn't providing everything that her family desired.Worried that there wouldn't be enough money to do everything because of financial limitations. So that woman put her head down and really set to it to be a hard worker and to make each of those things that worried her disappear. She also believed in little miracles...

I'll let you know if I won the lottery tomorrow...on second thought maybe I won't...fingers crossed...

...Here we go FOOTBALL...

2008-08-28T11:09:00.000-07:00

So an old patron of mine from the bar I used to work at called me recently to join a co-ed flag football league! I'm so stoked! I'm trying to get more details but I think this would be so amazing. Really what I hope is that I don't make a complete ass out of myself...I mean it's one thing to love the sport but it's a whole other thing to suck at it.

...maybe I should just be the cheerleader, J/K I can't wait to kick a little ass!

...Really, Oh Really...

2008-08-26T06:02:00.000-07:00

So tomorrow is my yearly evaluation at work but because of the economic "struggles" that my employer is dealing with they have put a cease on increases...

My employer's financial situation is no more important then my financial situation. My bills have continued to rise, my gas costs the same as theirs to get to work, and don't get my started with the increase in grocery prices.

My performance has improved, my job knowledge has increased, and my responsibilities have doubled and yet my salary will stay dormant.

In the future I will interview my employer...I will tell them what I will do and then I will inform them of my expectations of them, this way we don't have any surprises as to why they will need to fill my position in two weeks...if I already had a new job lined up...abuhdah!

an attempt...

2008-08-22T07:58:00.000-07:00

I'm going to start blogging again...hopefully I can find a release doing this, again. I have been setting goals and I'm starting to see some of them slowly become a reality.

2008-02-13T20:58:00.001-08:00

And, a, WOW! So I've received a second promotion in a very short period of time. I am now officially the Assistant Manager of a bank in Pikesville MD. We are currently a slower branch but with all the wonderful places in the town I'm sure that we won't be slow for long. I see alot of potential in the branch and in myself. I want to see myself rise to become a better person and I want my branch to be the absolute best branch in the entire bank this year!

2008-02-01T15:29:00.000-08:00

Okay so trainings over and I've started in the branch already. Wow is training so very different then the real thing! I think I've handled the things that I've been given so far. I definately have alot more to learn though. SO... anyone looking to open a new account or look at investments please let me know. It would be my pleasure to help you!

2008-01-28T19:09:00.000-08:00

Okay so as to date...I'm pretty sure I've picked out my wedding day! I put in for a promotion at the bank and got the new position! I started really focusing on my 2008 goals and since the beginning of the year I've lost 34lbs and still working hard to reach my goals. The girls and I are doing very well and are constantly on the go! This year has been exciting and moving so quickly...we've definitely been embracing everything that has come our way! I always said that my life would great once I hit thirty and it's come a few months early...

Here's to pushing forward and looking at all the good life has given me and has to offer!

Cheers!

2007-12-19T17:26:00.000-08:00

WOW...what a year!

2007-07-31T08:31:00.000-07:00

Have you ever known that where you belong is not where you are? Right now I'm trying to figure out a way how to purchase a house. My soul belongs by the crashing waves and the sandy shores. Wish me luck that I can make it happen...fingers crossed!

2007-06-01T00:30:00.000-07:00

?

Did you ever wonder why you listen?
Did you ever wonder what you were waiting to hear?
Did you ever wonder why listen and silent have the same letters?

Why did I put everything at a halt?
Why was I silent?
Why?

What was I waiting to hear?
What was I hoping to hear?
What was I waiting for?

When was I going to hear what I wanted to hear?
When was I going to stop waiting to hear it?
When was I going to stop caring?

Who was going to say it?
Who was going to do it?
Who was I fooling?

When was I going to stop caring?
When am I going to stop crying?
When?

2007-04-17T05:53:00.000-07:00

Well everything in my world is going wonderfully! The girls are doing excellent, I have a terrific man that recently made my hand heavy, and I have a great job prospect! Things seem to have been falling into place nicely. We're not rushing into the details as of yet but next spring looks like a good time...

2007-03-16T21:09:00.000-07:00

February has come and gone...I'm tired of not knowing the truth. Let the future appear to me so I can now my next move...

2007-03-14T06:39:00.000-07:00

Spring is in the air! I feel full of life and ready to take control of my life...I'm ready!

2007-03-01T07:46:00.000-08:00

I love the sunshine and the warmth on my face! What an absolutely beautiful and wonderful day! The girls and I woke up full of energy today. By 7:20 we had everything ready for the day so we took sometime reading a couple of books before school. I love when the mornings start off right it usually means the rest of the day is gonna be good. Here's hoping your day started started off as right as mine...

2007-02-20T10:22:00.000-08:00

Here's to the stories and the storytellers of the world.
Here's to believing in fairytales.
Here's to the dreams becoming reality.

2006-12-31T04:08:00.000-08:00

So on the last day of 2006 I am hoping for quite a Cinderella story of events to occur...The Titans to beat New England, Cincinnati-Denver-and the Jacksonville to lose, and funny enough for New England to score 33 so I can win a pool that would start the New Year off wonderfully...All I need is the shoe to fit on me...Here's hoping I haven't worn out my guardian angel this year...Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo!

2006-12-31T03:39:00.000-08:00

CHRISTMAS...The best Christmas of my entire life!...Even better then the year a got a pair of rollerskates, a "boombox", and the Whitney Houston tape. I LOVE being part of Christmas and helping to create part of the magic that is. Shawn and I went out and got the best presents for the girls...Everything and then some that they could possible want. That alone would have been would have been more then perfect but...

Back in June the girls met a wonderful dog named Frankie. A close friend of mine, Jessie(love ya girl), let me and the girls come over and swim in her pool this summer. The girls just fell in love with Frankie. So not to drag this story on forever and ever...Every night the girls prayed and prayed that they could get a pug. Everyday I said no. One night when I was putting them to bed Belle told Gabby not to worry because even though Mommy said no Santa knew that they had been good all year and Santa would bring her anyway...

Three hours two ways to Virginia, shifting the puppy to and from, Christmas was the most magical time in an instant and their eyes.

After the girls opened their presents and were completely satisfied...A knock came at the door...And Princess Penelope...Penny the pug became an official member of the family. Her complete name is Princess Mary Penelope Douglas(it's so disgustingly cute I really can't stand it!).

Belle, who is 8, is at that stage where she's heard Santa may or may not exist eyes welled up with tears and Gabby(almost 6)looked as if her heart jumped right out of her body!

In a moment it was as if I was watching a miracle on 34th Street...No I didn't get a house but really I probably couldn't have handled it. Their beautiful faces made everything that Christmas is suppose to be about...Faith and love and hope...

Merry belated Christmas!

2006-12-17T07:55:00.000-08:00

GO TITANS!

2006-12-07T23:42:00.000-08:00

I always thought life would have taken me somewhere different then where I am. Was I foolish to think that I deserved more then I have received? How different the road, the path is that you planned to travel down and rather have stumbled, crawled, drug ourselves down. Where did the strength come to pull yourself up and wipe the dirt away and be left with a smudged image of your past self to learn who the new reflection staring back at you is? Strength is wanting to know the future when it looks difficult, Courage is walking the path that you didn't know you could, And FAITH is knowing it will turn out the way it's suppose to.

Peace,
Mary Anne

2006-12-07T06:17:00.000-08:00

Eighteen days until Christmas! The tree has been picked out, lights have been put on, and the girls have trimmed the tree to look even more beautiful then last year. Letters to Santa have been written, dancing to carols has begun, and the gingerbread house will be completed this afternoon! How I love this time of year!

I'm not sure how much time I'll have to write because the girls and I stay very busy during this holiday so I wish you all a MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

P.S. I can't wait to see their faces Christmas morning!

2006-11-02T12:26:00.000-08:00

WANTED:Willing to pay for extra hours for sleep. Will grab a bed, blanket, desk, or wall for even an extra hour. Please email if you yourself has extra hours or know of anyone who does.

2006-10-25T11:09:00.000-07:00

Well it's official...I'm an insurance agent! I'm very excited and looking forward to my new career. If anyone is interested or know of anyone interested please refer them to me. I would really appreciate anyone and everyone's help!

2006-10-23T20:32:00.000-07:00

Here's to Firefly Shiraz! I just spent the last two hours crying. Now, I don't normally watch lifetime television, but they have been advertising a made for t.v. movie called "Why I Wore Red Lipstick...To my mastectomy". WOW!

So here's my story, don't read if you don't want to see it through my eyes...I'm twenty-eight, and I have two more lumps in my left breast. My doctor is having me come back on Halloween morning to check it out, again. Then, she'll decide to send me to a specialist. Then I'll have to have another ultra-sound, because insurance companies don't want to take care of real people, and then,when it shows that the lumps are indeed lumps, I'll have to have another mammogram. Then, some doctor is gonna tell me that it's time for yet another biopsy...Maybe it'll come back for the third time to be A-typical, the cells that are known to turn into cancer. Then, maybe I'll have my fourth surgery.

I have two little girls that make my life completely amazing, and wonderful each and everyday. I have an amazing boyfriend that I want to be my husband. I am trying to improve myself everyday, and take control of my life. What I don't like is not being in control. I don't want my life to change unless I want it to. So what happens when you don't have control?

In my short life I've packed in as much as I could...I'm a strong a person afraid to be strong. I'm a fighter that's afraid to fight. Most important, I'm a lover that's afraid to love.

I got pregnant at nineteen. Life had been hard up to this point but, I decided in my own head that it was going to be a great start. I started my first pregnancy off alone. When I decided to put my feelings on the back burner I got married. It was doomed from the start. I didn't want it to be, but it was inevitable. He wanted to be a good husband, but he didn't know how, and he wasn't ready to be. But remember, I, Mary Anne, always have a plan...Most of the time it doesn't work out the way I think it will. I decided back in the day that if my marriage wasn't gonna work, that I would have at least two kids by the same father. Good, bad, ugly I got my way. I know I'm portraying myself as calculating but believe me, it wasn't at the time. Things in my marriage weren't bad, like he beat me or anything like that, but at times I think I would have taken it to have the attention. I felt alone long before I was legal. I thought I was right to allow him in our lives for the kids and him. In turn, I was sexually violated. I got pregnant again...God gives and God takes it. Our divorce was final in January 2006.

My life isn't terrible, and I know that many people have it much worse than I do...But sometimes I wonder...What if?

I believe in fairytales...I'm still waiting for prince charming to scoop me up, and throw me on his horse, and carry me away into the sunset, but what are you suppose to think when he does come, and you're broken and hanging onto a thread.

What if I'm just waiting for the ball to drop? Will he still love me, and want me more broken than I already am? How can he love me when I don't even know if I love myself? Will I be good enough for him...

So in one week, the process will begin once again for myself, and I'll pretend to be strong. I'll be jealous of the fact that some people are worried, and concerned about making themselves alright, and that I'm at the mercy of someone else telling me if I'm okay; all the while I'm making everyone else alright. Everyone else that's truly important, and what's more real, is that it's not me, it's gonna be a little witch and vampire.

So here's to raising the drink in your hand, and toasting that it could be worse, and that it's not always as bad as you think...

Here's to finding strength when you don't think you have it in you. Here's to standing tall when you want to crumble, and here's to finding courage even if it's in a tube of red lipstick.

2006-10-21T00:04:00.000-07:00

This is my Anthem...

Music Video:NOT READY TO MAKE NICE (LIVE) (2) (by Dixie Chicks)

Music Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

2006-10-20T23:23:00.000-07:00

I wish...

The world was fair.

Once upon a time their was a little girl that was born into a world of unfortunate circumstances. Every single time she would say it couldn't get any worse and she was wrong.

Once upon a time their was a young woman that thought that everything would be easier when she got older. When she got older it got harder.

Once upon a time their was a woman, a mother who wanted the world to be better for her children then it was for her. And she tried.

Once upon a time the world was unfair...But their was a woman who wanted and wished for the world to be fair.

If you don't understand this...Then you don't know me.

2006-10-13T23:35:00.000-07:00

It all came down to respect,
or lack there of it.

She wanted the world to all be fine,
or a silent disarray.

Glasses raised, toasts that mean nothing,
or camouflage for hurt.

Tears that cover her sweater,
or...

MAM 10/14/06

2006-10-13T23:22:00.000-07:00

Here's to the world always and forever being unfair! Isn't it funny, Well not really but just ironic that no good deed in this world goes unpunished... I'm not skinny, I'm divorced, I'm not gonna get remarried, And I'm gonna have to figure it out on my own AGAIN...Terrific. Who said I'm not a lucky girl.......Not me.

2006-10-04T10:32:00.000-07:00

I have the greatest brothers and sisters in the whole world. Their are so many of us that you would think that we weren't close but on the contrary. My brother Christopher got married on Saturday night...Congratulations and welcome to the family Jen! Yesterday my little sister Bridget brought me over a rose and wrote me a letter letting me know that she was thinking about me and that she loves me. It is Breast Cancer Awareness month and she wanted me to know that she is always thinking about me but especially during this month...I LOVE YOU BRIDGET! Elizabeth and her family are doing very well, Congratulations Bruce on the new job. Skipper dipper(Mary Pat) is doing amazing keeping her schedule. Timmy is feeling a lot better and adjusting to high school. Mary Clare is a strong young woman learning the ropes to the real world and staying true to herself. Catie is working extremely hard and doing great...We just miss all of you so much! So to the craziest most wonderful brother and sisters...I Love you all so very much!

2006-09-14T12:01:00.000-07:00

I Love the Rain! Especially when it matches my mood for the day...

2006-09-13T11:27:00.000-07:00

Today is my sister Catie's birthday. She gets to turn 24 again because I'm still 25! I miss her so much! She got into UNC on a full ride and her husband(Ian) and the boys(Patrick,Connor,and Tristan) are all down in North Carolina. They are working very hard and they are creating a great life with a fantastic future awaiting them. I miss you! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Mwah!

2006-09-12T11:17:00.000-07:00

So football is on! So Steve McNair looked fantastic...To bad he doesn't play for my team anymore but at least he's closer for me to watch. My Tennessee Titans lost the first game of the season but it was a good game. The saving grace is that I won my first week in fantasy football. So are you ready for some football...

2006-09-09T18:41:00.000-07:00

In precisely two hours and seventeen minutes my life was profoundly changed, altered, and perfected in an instance eight years ago. My oldest baby girl is celebrating her 8th birthday! I wish I could box her up everyday and savor every sec of the day that has just passed. I remember every roll, every coo and grip of her tight little hand around my finger. Now that not so little girl is in the other room having a sleepover...Giving make-overs, watching movies, and having one of several pillow fights! I heart is completely overflowing in the love that I give and receive. So raise your rootbeer floats with me to wish my Belle a Happy Birthday!

2006-09-06T05:58:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday my love! I hope you have an amazing day and that all your wishes come true! I Love You!

2006-08-28T20:09:00.000-07:00

My beautiful pretty pretty princesses went to school today...Super sad...Not them of course. They just looked so sweet and perfect. Belle rolled her eyes of course and let me know that it's only a half of a day, and Gabby looked like a professional carrying her backpack going into her first day of Kindergarten. Their father and I discussed and worked out birthday plans for Belle who will being turning the big number 8 in a little less then 2 weeks. Afterwards I went to my friend Jesse's Deli Carry Out, Dukeharts, and Ms. Ida made some brownies and brought me the beater to lick to cheer me up that the girls were at school. 12:30 couldn't have come fast enough...

Mwah,
Mary Anne

2006-08-26T09:50:00.000-07:00

WELL.....The last thirty-six hours have proven to be quite an accomplishment to have gotten through! Here's the long and short of it...I got through it. A huge Thank you to my friends and family for letting me call you to vent and cry. I really apprectiate that you are all in my life. I Love you!

2006-08-12T12:54:00.000-07:00

Here's to you and here's to me and if we ever disagree FUCK YOU here's to ME!

Have a great Night
Mary Anne

2006-08-03T12:56:00.000-07:00

On Monday I will be taking my insurance class. It is a two day endeavor followed by taking the test for my series 6 license. I'm a little nervous because it means that I will be starting something new very soon. I can't believe that both my babies will be in school all day! All these years I've worked nights so that I could stay at home with my girls and now I'm scared that I've been out of circulation in the 9-5 work world for so long that I won't be successful. Wish me luck!

So far the girls and I have had a wonderful fun in the sun, beach, and pool filled summer! It sucks that they go back to school in three weeks...Tears...Lots and lots of tears.

To Matt...I wish you luck in FL. And that everything works out the way it needs to with your grandma. Have a safe trip. You will be in my prayers and I love you.

To Catie, Ian, Patrick, Connor,and Tristan...We miss you so much already! Enjoy your new adventure. Patrick...Jolly is doing great and he misses you but we are taking good care of him for you.

Mwah,
Mary Anne

2006-08-02T12:31:00.000-07:00

A.) Happy Birthday Rob!

B.) I really want a house!

C.) DAMN! It's HAWT!haha

2006-07-26T20:33:00.000-07:00

So I'm gonna title this post...It doesn't make it any better. I really am dealing with something enternally so I'm not going to bore you with the details but I want everyone to know two wrongs don't make a right and if you don't want to be envolved all the way step away because everything that is important is under 7 and 3/4 years old and until you are ready to see what all that entails life with me is meaningless.

sweet dreams
Mary Anne

2006-07-25T09:05:00.000-07:00

The Ram's Head Live was a great time! 7 days torn completely rocked it out. Listening to CandleBox was very nostalgic and made me remember my sister Catie having to listen to them over and over and over at night when I was doing my homework. I want to thank all of you that made it out, I really appreciated everyone coming out to support the music. I hope you all had a great time!

Lots of Love
Mary Anne

p.s. baby you played amazing!

2006-07-24T09:03:00.000-07:00

... so I'm better then I was last night and very much looking forward to tonight! anyone looking for something to do tonight Matt's Band 7daystorn is playing at the Ram's Head Live tonight opening for CandleBox. Doors open at 7pm and the show starts at 8pm.

Hope to See ya there!,
Mary Anne

2006-07-23T23:49:00.000-07:00

You always had an eye for things that glittered
But I was far from bein’ made of gold
I don’t know how that I scraped up the money
I just never could quite tell you no
Just like when you were leavin’ amarillo
To take that new job in tennessee
And I quit mine so we could be together
I can’t forget the way you looked at me

Chorus:

Just to see you smile
I’d do anything
That you wanted me to
And all is said and done
I’d never count the cost
It’s worth all that’s lost
Just to see you smile

When you said time was all you really needed
I walked away and let you have your space
Cuz leavin’ didn’t hurt me near as badly
As the tears I saw rollin’ down your face
And yesterday I knew just what you wanted
When you came walkin’ up to me with him
So I told you that I was happy for you
And given the chance I’d lie again

(repeat chorus)

I’d do anything
That you wanted me to
And all is said and done
I’d never count the cost
I’ts worth all that’s lost
Just to see you smile

2006-07-23T23:33:00.000-07:00

Have you ever just wanted someone to shut their mouth and let you talk just once...

2006-07-23T23:30:00.000-07:00

I just want to scream! Thank you for once again.

2006-07-20T09:54:00.000-07:00

SO...Happy 25th Birthday little bro! I Love You Christopher!
mwah

2006-06-20T10:16:00.000-07:00

On Saturday the girls and I went to a picnic and had the best time! Good food, great company, lots of things for kids including a magician show, face painting, and the girls sang their first karaoke song(Say My Name)...Watch out world here they come!

2006-06-08T07:21:00.000-07:00

Uugghhh! I ALSO HATE THE COLOR PURPLE! Steve your lucky I think you're one of the best quaterbacks ever. Go Ravens...Sigh.

2006-06-07T07:31:00.000-07:00

I HATE needing money! I HATE that everything is so expensive! I HATE not having money! I Hate that I haven't won the lottery!

2006-05-23T10:32:00.000-07:00

On Sunday the girls had their dance recital...And I know I'm their mother but clearly the best two dancers that have ever graced the stage...Art in motion. After the performance we celebrated by going to get snowballs...And they completely covered their costumes in sugar and water. It is truly amazing to have the opportunity and pleasure to watch them grow into even more amazing people them they were even yesterday.

2006-05-19T23:26:00.000-07:00

So tonight I sit here in front of my computer and get a call from my ex-husband and get screamed at. Evidently my retard brother decided to pick a fight with him tonight out somewhere tonight....Here's the deal...1). I was WORKING tonight)I was WORKING tonight. 3)I was Working tonight! I have raised two of the most amazing people that grace this earth. I didn't do anything wrong and I don't deserve to be yelled at or cursed at so thank you for showing me the respect that I have upon you...I truly appreciate your kind words...I really wish you the best...And again THANK YOU...It's nice to know that you remember even the essence of me and who I truly am.

2006-05-15T09:17:00.000-07:00

I feel TERRIFIC! I'm doing a 6 week nutrition class and today I weighed in and after only one week I am quite satisfied. My energy level has deffinately gone up and my clothing is getting loose in the areas I want to lose! I feel as if I'm taking good steps to take control of my life. Next week I am taking the class to get licensed to sell insurance. Next year both of the girls will be in school full day and I can change my working schedule to work in our lives better. Boy am I gonna miss the stay at home during the day with my girls but I can't stop them from getting older so I suppose it's time for me to get a little older with them.

2006-05-03T09:22:00.000-07:00

I have been very blessed with good people in my life. I have met wonderful people up at work, the girls school, and working out. I am fortunate to have old friends that I call family and I have a family that is not only supportive but is also loving. So today I wish this upon you all.

In a few days it will be my birthday. I'll be turning the ripe age of 28. Usually I want to celebrate with a big party but this year I have opted to enjoy my time with those closest to me simply.

***to the person who feels the necessity to start this new year of mine off on the wrong foot or haikus if you prefer...You will not ruin Friday or any day of mine...I am sorry that I haunt you like this and that you feel the need to not only think of me but to feel the need to write about me also. Libel is very unbecoming.***

2006-05-01T05:57:00.000-07:00

Wow, I haven't written in a while! Well lots of things have been going on. The girls and I were in a car accident. We got rear ended by an uninsured motorist. I hate my rental, it's not a bad car but it isn't my car. But I'm getting my car back today so it turned out to be just a minor inconvenience. Belle celebrated her First Communion and couldn't have looked more angelic if she had tried. It was truly a beautiful day. My aunt celebrated her 50th birthday and was truly surprised. It's always nice when the person doesn't find out. I went and saw Matt's band Seven Days Torn at the 8x10. They played really well and I had fun hanging out with the band and my friend Rob. I ran into and old friend when I was at the show...He was clearly acholically retarded...And exchanged numbers. I went and hung out with him for an hour or so to catch up. I remember all of these fond memories with him and in that hour I couldn't believe that this was the same person. He looked the same but was definitely not the same person I would play hoops with for hours and hours. Wow how time has changed us all. My mom stopped by to give me some of the things that belonged to my grandmother so I felt a little sad last night but safe all at the same time to have a piece of her. Well until time finds me to sit and type....Peace out.

2006-04-17T21:41:00.000-07:00

Today the girls and I got back our things from storage. I was so excited to see certain things but when not all the things fit into the storage unit I had to take some of the boxes home. This afternoon the girls and I went threw the boxes and Gabby's first ballet shoes were in there and Belle's favorite blankie and so many things that they had outgrown and it made me feel a little sad. It put everything into perspective how much they've grown.
Easter went pretty well and I got to spend some time with the girls. They couldn't have been more beautiful if they tried.
This week the girls are on spring break...so hopefully the weather will be nice and we can go on some wonderful outings...maybe even the beach.

2006-04-11T11:10:00.000-07:00

So my baby's all grown up now. She reached the pinnacle whole hand a couple of weeks ago. My other "I'm not a baby" received the coach's award in basketball and will be receiving her first communion in a few weeks. And now I'm not going to be with them for the first holiday ever in their whole life. Life truly and completely sucks! So for Easter I believe that getting drunk is an option but I will probably stay in bed the entire day, eat a container of chunky monkey ice cream, and watch sappy movies so that I can pretend that the tears I'm crying are because of the dumb movie in pajamas till my beautiful pretty pretty princesses come home to me.

2006-03-20T12:29:00.000-08:00

Lots to say but not enough time right now as Monday's are a busy day for me and the girls but I replaced my cell phone today so everyone please email your numbers so that i will be able to program them into my phone. Thanks!

2006-03-17T07:06:00.000-08:00

The Story ofThe Claddagh Ring

The ring, depicting two hands clutching a heart complete
with crown, epitomizes the expression of lasting love and
eternal friendship. The heart symbolizes Love, the hands
Friendship and the crown Fidelity.

The Story
The romantic story of the mystical and beautiful Claddagh
Ring began over 300 years ago, in the ancient fishing village
of Claddagh just outside the walls of the city of Galway on
the west coast of Ireland.

Legend tells us a fishing boat from the village was captured
by pirates and the crew taken and sold as slaves. One of the
crew, Richard Joyce (who was to have been married that
very week,) was sold to a Turkish Gold Smith.
During his captive years never forgetting his girl back home,
he made a ring of gold for her.

After many years Richard eventually earned his freedom and
returned to Claddagh. To his great Joy he found his girl had
never given up hope of seeing him again. He gave her the ring
and they were married never to be separated.

The Tradition
Worn on the right hand, crown turned inwards, your heart is
yet to be occupied.
Worn on the right hand, crown turned outwards shows a
special commitment to someone.
Worn on the left hand, Crown turned outwards, Let our
love and friendship reign forever, never to be separated.

2006-03-17T06:47:00.000-08:00

I want to wish everyone a Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

Irish Blessings and Sayings

May you always have

Walls for the winds,

A roof for the rain,

Tea beside the fire,

Laughter to cheer you,

Those you love near you,

And all your heart might desire!

May you be in

Heaven a half hour before the

Devil knows you're dead!

May your blessings outnumber

The shamrocks that grow,

And may trouble avoid you

Wherever you go.

There are many good reasons for drinking,

One has just entered my head.

If a man doesn't drink when he's living,

How in the hell can he drink when he's dead?

May your neighbors respect you,

Troubles neglect you,

The angels protect you,

And Heaven accept you.

These things I warmly wish to you-

Someone to love

Some work to do

A bit o' sun

A bit o' cheer

And a guardian angel always near.

Here's to a long life and a merry one

A quick death and an easy one

A pretty girl and an honest one

A cold beer and another one!

May your pockets be heavy and your heart be light,

May good luck pursue you each morning and night,

Go mbeannai Dia duit

(May God Bless You)

2006-03-15T17:33:00.000-08:00

I hate puking...I hate cleaning up puke...I hate doing the laundry that has puke on it...I hate being puked on...I hate the three of us being sick at the same time...But most of all I HATE seeing them sick! So hopefully this will be a short lived sickness time...Wish me luck!

2006-03-14T10:16:00.000-08:00

Well I've noticed that I get real lax in doing this so here's the update... My girls rock! I've been trying to take better care of myself. I've lost my cell phone (big surprise to anyone that knows me). I started to do some scrap booking (it's fun but it takes a lot longer then I thought it would). The Saint Agnes Second grade Bears won their last game, with the huge score of 2-0. YEAH! And I have fully been enjoying the weather of course until today...Yesterday 84, today 50 something.

2006-03-05T19:56:00.000-08:00

you didn't answer your phone ...but THANK YOU!

2006-03-02T12:53:00.000-08:00

I really enjoy to read but sometimes by the time I pick up book I've already done about 100 things that day and when I try to read I immediately peace out. A few years back I read The Five People You Meet In Heaven. When walking through Blockbuster I saw they made a movie out of it...WOW! I thought the book was great but the movie was done masterfully. Last night when I was laying in bed I began to think about who would by waiting for me in heaven and what lessons didn't I learn and why exactly I am I here. What an amazing movie...I highly recommend this movie to everyone.

2006-02-27T20:36:00.000-08:00

Remember when you where you were little and you dreamed of what you would be when you grew up? Remember when the reality was better then you ever dreamed...Well the girls are more then I ever could have imagined.

2006-02-27T14:58:00.000-08:00

I want to move away right now. I won't but I sure wish I could. Boy do I wish I could.

2006-02-23T23:12:00.000-08:00

So probably lots of people aren't going to like this post but it's definitely from the heart... SO...My divorce was final on Tuesday morning at around ten in the morning. I've been wanting to write about it but really to be completely honest it's made me very sad to even think about it. See I'm the one who asked for the divorce along time ago. Shawn was and is a very smooth talker, makes things out to be different then they really are, and still looks the way he did the first time I saw him at Sorrento's at seventeen. The real problem is that I think I deserve more then he cared to offer me and I have always been a fairy-tale kind of girl. I didn't want mostly happily ever after I actually thought that I deserved Happily Ever After. Maybe I was foolish to think that if you fall in love at seventeen that it would last forever but I think that I will forever be in love with Shawn because I see him for what he was and for what he is and for what I always knew that he would become. Now I rationally know that he is not good for me but I know that to me he has the potential to be something extraordinary. Now I've had a couple of drinks and a couple after that but here's how it plays out to my vision this evening...I was busy at work this evening and one of my co-workers called and said that they were going to be up at Loafer's ( a local bar in my town) and told me to come up there if I got off work early. So I probably should have called before I showed up but I didn't. I walked into Loafer's and the first person I see is...Shawn. He is in a deep conversation with a guy that works with his brother and he is talking very "poorly" about a girl that I assume is me...My mistake. What my real mistake is probably thinking that I actually meant something to him and he would even bother thinking about me or talking about me. Again I admit, My Mistake. He sends me over a few uncomfortable facial shots and what appears to be a little bit of hatred, I actually send him over a shot...I know very stupid but being me thought that it was a "polite" thing to do. And again my mistake! I then move over to the complete other side of the bar looking for Kyle who seems to have already left and feel like I should leave immediately. I decided why waste the beer and then I am zoning out when a few different people come up and buy me a few drinks. I asked the bartender for my check and pay and decide to go to the bathroom and roll...Shawn and Amanda are standing by the bathrooms talking ( evidently the bathrooms haven't worked in a while and you have to go to the front bathrooms which of course I didn't know) so I turn around as fast as I can and find another bathroom. Now every part of me knows I should leave but I can't. I didn't want to see them together but for some reason I couldn't leave and I wasn't and didn't even see them at all for the rest of the evening, all I did was stare off into space and realize what it all meant. See a long time ago I felt like Shawn and it all came back to me tonight. I actually remembered reading his email saying he wished bad things upon me and seeing the girl that he had been talking to two days later in the mall after reading her response to his emails. I remember being alone and wanting so badly for someone to actually want to be with me and love me for who I was. I'm not quite sure when I'll be over Shawn...Probably not for a very, very long time,if ever, especially since I get to see the Shawn that I actually loved and choosed to marry every day when the girls look up at me. I cried tonight driving home but tonight after thinking about it I'm not mad actually just very sad, very,very sad and it's not anyone's fault anymore I think and I've come to this concussion... I wish you happiness even if it wasn't to be with me. Part of me no matter whom I am with will always be sad that it isn't me that you're with but I want to wish you the best life and know that I truly have faith and confidence in you and everything great that you possess. So here's not to the past but to our future's ... May we always see what's important even when our vision is skewed, and may anyone and everyone that stands on our door steps know that they will never be number one. May everyone know where we came from and to see what our potential is to be and to know that everything that we offer is because we choose it to be.

2006-02-11T12:04:00.000-08:00

I love the snow...I mean I truly am one of those people that can't wait for the streets to be blanketed in pure white beautiful perfect snow. I love that the world halts to mother nature and everything is simple and wonderful. Hot chocolate just seems to taste a little bit better and cuddling up on the couch to watch a G-rated movie is just a little more fun and enjoyable. So here's hoping that you are taken back to your youth and that it's filled with snowballs flying, magical snowmen, and angels fluttering in the snow.

2006-02-10T09:18:00.000-08:00

If you are looking for a good workout tape try "The Biggest Losers". Wow is my ass sore!

2006-02-09T12:01:00.000-08:00

I don't like knowing that I've wasted time with people I thought were friends. I understand that not everyone agrees all the time and not everyone has the same life style but mutual respect for one another I would believe to be part of friendship. So goodbye to those people that I have made the mistake in believing were my friends, I will not waste anymore energy or thoughts on people not deserving them.

I have found a new doctor so hopefully my "breast" problems can be "fixed". Dr. Mike Meyers has come highly recommended by other "breast" patients so keep your fingers crossed.

My beautiful amazing seven year old made her first real basket at practice last night, swish! On Monday it was parent observation day at ballet and tap and WOW! Belle and Gabby are so talented, it really is nice to see how they have improved since the beginning of the year and how hard they are working.

If you want to hear an extremely talented local band check out www.7daystorn.com or check them out on myspace.

"There are good ships,
and wood ships,
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships,
are friendships,
and may they always be."

Cheers

2006-02-03T12:53:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wanted to have a temper tantrum?

2006-01-16T01:48:00.000-08:00

So it's about five am ... and I am just getting home from work tonight. It was a very good evening financially but it was a shitty night and there was no hope for it being good before I even walked through the doors. Now as with all stories there are highs and lows but for the majority of the day was just low times. Maybe it's because I just heard the new Keith Urban song on the radio as I was driving home, who's to say. I worked last night and my very best friend called me up crying while I was cleaning the bar to let me know that she ran into my very soon to be ex-husband. I wasn't there, I was working, so I won't speculate the conversation that was exchanged between them. On my ride home from work I called Shawn to ask what was going on? I admit that I shouldn't have because there was absolutely nothing good that could have come from it and that was exactly what came from it...nothing good. It wasn't terrible but it was in my top ten conversations that I didn't have to have with him. I then had to find out why my brother had dropped his son off at my house and why he was spending the night. So five am...I fall asleep (high point to the story). Seven thirty rolls around and my day begins...breakfast, brushing teeth, putting on a movie so I can catnap as the girls play around. The place is a mess from the morning activities but it's time to start getting ready for the highlight of my day...Belle had her very first basketball game ever. It was the most hilarious thing I've ever encountered, the saddest thing, and the amazing thing all tied into one occasion. They are only seven years old so they have lots of heart but not a lot of skill, yet. I don't want my baby to be that old yet. And it was amazing...she was doing it...all by her big girl self...it couldn't have been a more fantastic thing to have witnessed. But while all this amazingness was going on my boyfriend was sitting behind me and the girls father was on the other side of me. Gotta love tension, except not. So as we are driving home I stop for dinner to bring home and then it's time for me to get to work. I don't normally work on Sunday nights but I switched my schedule so I could go Belle's game. Work couldn't have been busier if it tried when I first got there. Which is great because you don't have time to think...you just do your job and that is it but then it started to slow down and it wasn't so great. The number of drunks in this world is amazing and the fact that I pay my bills because of some of their stupidity is completely mind-boggling. One guy deserved to get punched in the face. Another guy called me a racist. External bodily functions had to be cleaned up and the cops had to be called because someone was being beaten up in our parking lot. And when all was said and done the boss man passed out on the bar which for a brief period of time seemed to be slightly haha then became very annoying when you are trying to clean up because god forbid the music not be audible for the people in China. JohnJohn a fellow employee grabbed me (this dude was wayyyyyyyy intoxicated by this point) and decides it would be "great" to pick me up...guess what...hitting the floor and having a chair on you is not so "great"! We got most of the people out and bossman passes out on the bar again, yeah. So on the way home to top off my super wonderful evening this song comes on the radio and all I want to do is flick it off but I can't. I pull into my parking spot and realized you don't have to be "drunk enough" to cry because I most certainly did. And on the scale of shitty nights this one wouldn't even be in the top one hundred but sometimes the ones like these suck a little more because everyday isn't suppose to be hard. You know what I mean?

2006-01-11T07:22:00.000-08:00

So today the Christmas tree went out on the curb and all the beautiful decorations are away. It's kinda sad that they won't be around for a whole year and that the magic of the season is gone. I hate Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings...Gabby's at school half the day. It's funny how two people can consume your heart so much that you actually ache without their smiles and laughter filling the room. Even though it was difficult when Belle went to school I still had Gabby at home but next year they will both be in school all day. I'm happy that they are growing up so amazingly but it still makes me sad that they won't alway be my little pretty pretty princessess.

2006-01-07T10:59:00.000-08:00

So I haven't updated my blog for awhile so I'll quickly fill you all in...the holidays were nice and relaxing. New Year's Eve was a long night because I worked 31hrs straight. New Year's day was a blast I hung out with some good friends from my work and hit the Fell's Point area up. The girls are back in school. Got to see my man's band play...they are so good! Finally got a call from my doctor letting me know that my test results were inconclusive and I'm going to have to have another biopsy. And in less then 24hrs my world is going to be turned inside out and upside down and if you know me I fully admit that I have control issues and this is something that I'm not going to have full control over so..." Lord give me strength".

2005-12-23T10:27:00.000-08:00

Tis the season to be jolly fa la la la la la la la la. All around my house there are two little girls so very excited about Santa Claus coming tomorrow night. The Christmas tree is up and lit, the gingerbread house is looking as well as any talented 4 and 7 year olds would create, and the reindeer food is waiting to be sprinkled on the front lawn so the reindeer have something to eat while Santa has cookies. This time of year gets so crazy but in a moment it's all peaceful and perfect when you see the magic in little ones eyes light up. So my wish for everyone this season is that you all believe in the magic only this season has to offer. Merry Christmas!

2005-12-08T09:48:00.000-08:00

So I woke up this morning and my car wasn't in it's assigned parking spot...So I immediately called the police. Then my dad and then the insurance company. After pacing the floor for two and a half hours the Baltimore County Police decided to finally grace me with their presence and let me know that my car was towed to an impound lot because my tags were expired. So I went on line to find that the ever intelligent Department of Motor Vehicles had sent my information to my address that I haven't lived in for over two years even though I have done my job as to updating my license. So for $240.00 in towing expenses, $128.00 for renewing my tags on line and sitting on the phone for an hour and a half with the MVA they have informed me that they really don't know what else they can do at this time. They "suggest" that I go to the people that bought my house and ask them to call me when the stickers have been sent to their house. They just don't know why it didn't get updated in the system but because I renewed the tags under the wrong address...Which I didn't...the stickers can't be sent to a new address until they are up for renewal, expire, or I get a new car. So my question is how do they get away with not doing their job properly and why do I get penalized?!

2005-12-07T14:00:00.000-08:00

So although I have a lot of things on my mind and a lot of things going on I feel the need to bitch about something that is not so pertinent in my life. I actually had a parent call up today to ask why I make my child walk to the second crossing guard at the end of school. First it is no ones business why I do the things I do. Second since when was it a crime to make your child walk two blocks. Third did you know that forcing your child to get exercise and breath fresh air was a tragedy. "People" need to stop worrying about what I'm doing, guess why...Because I'm doing what I need,want, and feel is important to raising my children. So thank you for your concern but please kindly kiss my ass.

2005-12-02T12:15:00.000-08:00

AGHHHHHHH!!!

okay, i feel a little better.

2005-11-22T17:55:00.000-08:00

I consider myself to be the type of person who sees the glass as half full instead of half empty. So I am a lucky person. I recently went to the doctors and have to have a procedure takin care of. Since I evidently have this obsession with touching my boobs I have been fortunate enough to find tumors before they turn into cancer. Seven of the last thirteen tumors have been diagnosed with "a-typical hyperplasion" (sp?). So I found one at the end of the summer, made my regular doctor's appointment, sent me to the "female" doctor, sent me to my surgical oncology, sending me to get my ultra-sound guided biopsy, and then surgery! But here's why the glass is half full... a) "hopefully again" early detection
b) got to play with my boobs

Positive note, like you need one after I told you all that I like to play with my boobs, I haven't smoked in 8 days.

Because I have to work tomorrow I don't know if I'll have a chance to ...

"Happy Thanksgiving and May You All Remember All the Good Times of the Year and Leave All the Bad Times Behind!"

2005-11-18T09:16:00.000-08:00

So I'm going back to my old theory that I'm getting all the bad out of my life before I hit thirty. That way I can enjoy the rest of my life the way I intend it. I've only got two and a half years to contend with I can do that...at least i hope. I guess I better finish my Christmas shopping soon.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!